Day 202 of 300 and Sixty 5: Creepy Dream

It is day and the sun is shinning bright. I am in a jungle or forest. Lots of green trees and bushes surround me. I am looking for something. A ghost or a trace of something supernatural. A poltergeist. I see nothing abnormal. I decide to head back to camp and catch up with the others. As I begin to walk, the ground starts to rumble. “This is it. I know it. It’s here” I think to myself.

The ground shakes with vengeance. A gust of wind lifts me into the air and my vision becomes blurry. I am spinning out of control. The wind is so strong it rips off the red jacket that I am wearing. I am trapped in what appears to be a tornado.

The grass beneath me is being ripped out by the roots. The ground is turning into a pool of mud. Then suddenly, the shaking stops, the wind is still, and I fall to the ground. I fall into what has now become thick mud.

Around me, no other area has been effected by this bizarre event. I see my red jacket slightly buried in the mud. As I pull my jacket, I make sure to scoop as much of the mud up as I can hold within it. “There has to be some sort of residue left behind by the poltergeist.” I thought.

Suddenly, everything darkens and I am now in a new location. I am in a house. But the inside resembles my old middle school. Or at least the hallways do. I am with my cousin. Not sure which one though. We are jumping down a flight of stairs. We are looking for something, but in a bit of a hurry. We walk to the center of the hallway of my old middle school. The lights are off in the entire building. From where we stand, to the right of us, is the lobby for the principal, counselor, and nurses office. My cousin wants to find a counselor, but I assure her that no one is there. She peeks her head in anyway. Dark and abandoned.

We have to find my mom, so I grab my cousin and we hurry off down the hallway. We stop at the door of a room where I know that my mother is inside. I knock on the door and wait. When my mom opens it, I begin to explain to her that she has to come with us. That the ghost might be coming her way soon. But she is angry. I disturbed her and now she is yelling at me. When my mom is satisfied that she has belittled me enough, she turns and slams the door shut.

In the silence, I can tell that my cousin feels sorry for me. That she wishes she hadn’t witnessed what had just happened. I shrug it off. This is normal for me. I decide that my mom is okay and that my cousin and I should head back to be with the others.

We walk back down the hallway and climb the stairs. We reach the second floor and turn down another dark hallway. Towards the end of the hall is a room with a bit of bluish light illuminating under the door. That is where we are heading. That is where the others are, and that is where we will be safe. 

Right before we reach the room, I see something move in the living room that has appeared to the right.  It’s Noonie (my cat), sitting on the edge of a couch. When she sees that I have noticed her, she meows. But I sense something eerie and glance to my left. There is another room, too dark for me to see what’s inside. I close the door so that if the ghost is in there, it wont be able to lure my cat inside and possess her.

The safe room is just a few feet away and I open the door. The source of the bluish light is a large flat screen tv that has been left on. Against the wall is my bed that is full of sleeping people. The floor is also covered with people sleeping. I allow my cousin to enter. She immediately springs to the opposite side of the room and finds a place to wrap herself under the covers. 

I begin to close the door and then stop when I see that Noonie has followed me. I motion for her to come inside and she obeys. The she disappears into the sea of sleeping bodies. I close the door. Trying not to step on anyone, I make my way to an empty spot on the floor near my cousin.

As I lay my head down and close my eyes, I have a thought. What if the ghost had already gotten to  my mom and possessed her? And the person I thought I was talking to was not actually my mom, but instead the ghost. And my mom’s soul was locked somewhere in that room, crying for help? She did look a little pale and a bit skinnier than I remember. What if it is too late?

At this point, I wake up. The light in my dream was the light coming from my computer. It turned on, but was frozen on the white screen.

1 month ago  /  0 notes

Day 189 of 300 and Sixty 5

Lady of Love

She made it okay to be different

Okay to be weird

She is a freak like me

Everything I want to be

Changing the world and the way that we see

Absolute with contentment to live and be free

Lady of Love. Lady of Me.

Offensive atrocity

Truth spoken intelligently

Absence of fear parade beautifully

Sacrificing her self within

With no one to please in a lion’s den

All for my liberation and so us losers may win

Lady of Redemption. Lady of Sin.

She makes the sky her limit 

And the universe mine

Pushing the monster inside

Soon to be revealed in time

She sings my story line for line

Makes me dance until I lose my mind

Lady of Humanity. Lady of Rhyme.

Everyday is a new mountain to climb

At the top, what she finds is given all back 

To her people, to her cause, to the ones off track

Driven by wild dreams and strong ambition

We reinvent her rendition 

Not held back by society’s restrictions

Lady of Strength. Lady of No Permission.

Never wonders “What would have happened if I had listened?”

Setting the world free is her great expedition

I spent one night at her Monster Ball

Now, I will never be the same. I no longer feel small

That night she gave me something I want to tag on every wall 

Have hope and pride to sing loud and stand tall

Lady of Love. Lady of All. 

1 month ago  /  2 notes

Day 135 of 300 and Sixty 5

Just realized that the best way of living, is to live for yourself. Time to stop allowing circumstances dictate who I am. I can do all of the things that I have ever dreamt of doing if only I just tried. I’ve been directing my energy in all the wrong places. The outcome has been rewarding, however quite meaningless.

The people I love, the people I don’t know, my job, and even my own way of thinking can make me feel so limited. I think the only way around this is to fight against these things that are driving me insane and go out and do what I know I am here on earth to do. 

It is all about trusting myself. Believing in me. Which is something I do not do often enough.

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live”- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

3 months ago  /  0 notes

Day 118 of 300 and Sixty 5: New York 2Do List

Starting next month, which is in 3 days, I need to do something from my New York 2Do list. And each month thereafter continue to do at least one thing from this list.

• Climb to the top of Empire State Building (Completed 06/11/10)
• Check out the Rockefeller Observatory Deck
• Do some improv at Upright Citizens Brigade
• Go ice Skating at Rockefeller Center
• Visit Ellis Island
• Dance at Broadway Dance Center  (Completed 05/18/10)
• Get an iPhone (Completed 06/25/10)
• Metropolitan Museum of Art
• Watch Addams Family
• Watch Chicago
• Watch Lion King
• Watch Promises Promises
• See Wicked again
• Go to the Natural Museum of History
• Go to the Museum of Modern Art (Completed 08/23/10)
• Go to a Runway Show
• See SNL taping
• Go to Yankees game
• Go to Knicks game
• Eat at Katz”s Delicatessen (Cash Only)
• Go to Cielo Club
• Buy guitar (start playing again!) (Completed 07/24/10)

READY! SET! GO!

4 months ago  /  0 notes

Day 116 of 300 and Sixty 5

There is something about you that makes me want to be your friend

Your outward appearance and the secrets you hide within

As subtle as a bee sting

Your voice penetrates my skin

Never in between, only right or wrong

No sense of regret nor the desire to belong

Different is everything about you

Different is your song

I want to know the things you bury deep inside

And be the one in which you confide

Maybe what I see in you is a shade of me

A fragment of all the colors I repress to be

When days are difficult, your smile is nothing but sincere

Contagious is everything about you and everything about you I revere

So grateful our twisted paths collided

Doing whatever it takes to keep us from being divided 

Though your presence makes me a bit timid

Your personality radiates and your heart is vivid

With a mind as quick as a bullet, no one can contend

There is something about you that makes me want to me your friend

4 months ago  /  Notes

Day 25 of 300 and Sixty 5

Hopeless. Helpless

Regardless of how I feel

It still sucks. It still is

Who cares about me, except me

Who dares to be what I want to be

Not a life, but a dream

Far away. Distant belief

A reckless tear

A struggling fear

Not off topic, but out of my mind

My day off might soon turn into a layoff

And that one risk may lead to a payoff

Challenge a change, and make it happen

Ignite the flame and bring it all back again

But I don’t believe in me, because most never do

You can’t see what I see, because you don’t try to

Yet it fuels a flame growing to a blaze

Handicap thoughts running in a maze

I have to find a way

Go no further astray

Building a principle

No less sensible

Disguising what is inside

I’ve reached the bottom of my pride

Even a puppet has more character than I

The tide is so high

I can either swim or choose to die

No riding this one out

Self-liberation, your time is about

7 months ago  /  Notes